So, I have been gone a long stretch of time lately and a lot has happened int that time.
The title might be a little bit confusing considering I have stated many a time that I am very against drugs, prescribed or other wise, but I will get into detail what caused my jump from trying to naturally alleviate my anxiety to medically alleviate it in another post. This post in all about how Zoloft helped me realized I was/am depressed.
Okay so I'm going to jump right into it. About a month before I graduated college (Yay for me, I actually did it!) I went to a doctors appointment an actually talked to my doctor about my anxiety which was a big deal. After we spoke for a bit she wanted prescribe me with Zoloft to try and help my anxiety, and while I was little bit apprehensive, I decided to try it because at that point I was so fed up with how my anxiety was acting up and the herbs I was using just weren't doing enough. She prescribed me with 25MG because of my height and weight and she didn't want to overwhelm my body I guess.
I stayed on these for 4 weeks before I went back for a check in, check up. The 25MG didn't do anything for me except make me the drowsiest I have ever been in my life, and give nausea. My nausea was so strange too, I would sporadically get nauseous through out the day, and also when I laughed. It was the strangest sensation to fell nauseous because of a laugh. Luckily the nausea cleared up after week three, unluckily the 25MG's didn't do anything for the SA.
When I went in for my check in, I told all of this to my doctor and she suggested try out 50MG for another four weeks and come back in with another round of check ups. I was not optimistic after having failed with 25MG and having read so many stories about how sometimes Zoloft only works for certain people.
Boy, was I surprised. The first thing I noticed that it severely lessened was my depression. I knew that I would become depressed sometimes but I had no idea to what extent I was depressed until I started taking Zoloft and I wasn't as depressed anymore. I think I was so used to living with it that I didn't even notice that something was wrong. The differences I felt in myself were shocking, because I hadn't even realize the my depression was a part of the problem because I was so focused on my SA.
I noticed a difference in my attitude towards myself and others. I realized how much more lighter I felt, I can't even pin point the exact things it changed I just know that overall I felt so much better about myself and my situation.
It also helped with my SA. I work for my sister now (we'll get int that in another post) and she was always pushing me to make these calls so certain clients and I would just refuse to do it because my SA would not allow me to, but on Zoloft while I wasn't comfortable and the anxiousness was still there, I was at least able to actually call them.I was also able to walk into a store or order something at a restaurant without freaking out on the inside. I felt a lot more in control of my life, and my decisions.
I'm not saying that it was a cure, I still had anxiety and depression, but it did help me out a lot with having some sort hold on my life, and since I have had SA since as far back as I can remember that was a big deal to me, I had never felt like that before.
Even though the Zoloft had helped me tremendously I am no longer taking it. I took the 50MG's for about a month and a half before I stopped. There are a multitude of reasons why I stopped, which I will get into in another post where I will update my personal life.
I also want to address the brain zaps. I remember reading about the zaps happening when taking Paxil but I can't remember if I read about them happening on Zoloft, but for me they did happened. It's so hard to explain the exact feeling, it doesn't hurt, it kind of feels like feels like of you squeeze your eyes closed very tightly and tighten your whole body to the point where it starts to shake. Except it's that feeling only in you head. lol that's the only way I can think to describe it. It's such a strange feeling. They happened about two weeks after I stopped taking them, and only last about two weeks as well. They were very random, at first I didn't connect the zaps to the Zoloft, I wasn't really keeping track, so I can't say exactly how many times they happened.
I am kind of sad that I no longer feel the same way I did when taking the Zoloft because when stopped I actually noticed how depressed I am, and how bad my SA can be.
It sucks having both SA and depression and I found this post which put into words what I have been feeling my whole life: